How To Handle Life When Your Fears Try To Control You

(2 minute read)

When I was a kid, I was the ultimate I’m-indestructible-life-is-always-wonderful-bring-it-on type of kid. When my family suddenly up and moved from the place I grew up, to say I was traumatized is an understatement, and suddenly, I was scared of everything. Through the years I’ve become better and better at quieting them with a few simple tricks.

It’s important to realize that quieting fears doesn’t mean that you’re not afraid any more. I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve that again, partially because it doesn’t logically make sense to be fearless, and partially because now that I’ve actually experienced loss, I can’t ignore it. Instead, quieting fears means that your fears don’t control you on a daily basis.

Here are a few things I’m afraid of, and then I’ll explain how I’ve dealt with them:

  • Being lonely
  • Never finding my place in the world
  • Losing friends and family in accidents
  • Illness
  • Hospitals, doctors, needles, the works
  1. Acknowledging that I cannot control the things I’m afraid of, so I shouldn’t worry about them. Worrying all the time takes away what little time I have on this Earth that I could spend doing other things, and it damages my health.
  2. Facing fears. When I’m feeling lonely, I intentionally isolate myself. I go to the grocery store, or to a park, or just for a long walk. Firstly, because it’s better to cause yourself to be alone, than to feel alone in a room full of people. Secondly, because by walking myself through every day situations I’m proving to myself that I can handle being on my own. I’m capable of living without constant support of other people; which isn’t to say that I don’t need friends or family, but it makes it much easier to endure times when I’m without them because we got in a fight, or I’m away at college, or I moved away, etc.
  3. Living in the moment. Scared about the future? Scared about what might or could happen? Well, none of those things are happening right now. Right now, I have 3 assignments due tomorrow, a basket full of laundry, a cat to feed, and a few blog posts to write. Making a to-do list is a great way to bring yourself back to reality, and refocus your energy on things you can control instead of the wild factors of your imagination.

 

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