Hello all. Yesterday I moved into my apartment for the school year… hence the late post :) My apologies.
(2.6 minute read)
Long-distance is hard, but I also think that any couple who has a chance to experience it is lucky. It takes the focus off of physical closeness and forces you to learn not-so-obvious skills necessary for a healthy relationship, such as these:
- You don’t make assumptions. If you want someone who lives miles and miles away to know something, you have to tell them; you don’t assume they will pick up on body language, or subtle behavioral hints. Often, making assumptions leads to misunderstandings which result from a lack of proper communication between lovers.
- It’s not easy, and requires sacrifices. Especially at college, making time for someone is easy. You run into them at class, at the coffee shop, at parties, and at meetings; you almost have to work harder to avoid them. Long-distance is a great test of how serious someone is… if they put extra effort into keeping you in their life, you can be pretty sure they sincerely want you there.
- You realize you don’t need each other. It always makes me uncomfortable when people say they “need” each other, or they couldn’t live without each other, or this other person is their whole life. You shouldn’t be with someone out of desperate necessity… if that’s the case, you aren’t ready for a relationship and should focus on learning to be alone. In an LDR, you appreciate every day that your significant other is choosing to be with you because they want to, not because they have to. You also try harder to be the kind of person worthy of being wanted.
- You’re not suffocated… instead you experience the “sweet sorrow” of missing someone. “Me time” is important.
- Surviving long-distance gives you confidence that you two can overcome other challenges.
- You learn to be creative with your relationship. You find new ways to express love, to spend time with each other, and keep things interesting.
- You intensely appreciate the time you do spend in close proximity… from the most grandiose gestures of affection to the smallest things, like actually making eye contact.