Marriage: Goal or After-Thought?

(2 minute read)

I’d really love to hear your feedback on this topic… words of wisdom from those who have been adulting far longer than me!

Last semester a couple of juniors walked into the student lounge and announced their engagement. And then just after graduation, another couple got married. This happens every year at my very small, very traditional Catholic college… and I do not know what to think of it.

I’ll be honest, I always scoffed at those girls who graduated with an “MRS Degree.” My mom raised me to want to go to school and study hard, and then travel the world as much as possible while I was young, learn to live on my own, and then build an amazing career, and then maybe think about getting married. And goodness, if I just have to get married young, wait at the very least until I’m 24. Marriage and having a family was more of an after-thought, not a life goal.

But now I’m finding myself in the tricky situation of dating a senior, a senior who is trying to figure out what he’s doing after graduation, and also trying to figure out how much our relationship should factor into those decisions… thus prompting me to review my opinions on the topic.

So, here are my questions for you: what has made you the happiest in your adult life? How have you changed your priorities as you’ve gotten older to reflect the things you value most? Should you build your life around your career goals and travel plans, or your best friends and supporters?

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7 thoughts on “Marriage: Goal or After-Thought?

  1. Well, I can only tell you my own personal perspective on your questions based on my life, which by the way is documented in my autobiography entitled, “I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love and Life Got In The Way.” Which should at least (the book title) give you a clue as to where I stand on early marriage and careers. My feelings…….career first and relationships AFTER you have fulfilled your goals in life. Once you have achieved your life goals THEN you’ll know when its time to settle down and be ready for sharing your life romantically in a marriage with someone. BTW……….After two failed marriages I did not connect with my soul partner until I was over 50. Does that tell you something?

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  2. I believe there is no right age for getting married but a right timing. You will know if it’s right. And also: Who says you have to get married in order to plan a future together? Funny that I say that… my husband and I got married only 6 months after we met. It was just right. We both knew. But I believe it also helped that we were 28 and we had our relationships before. Serious ones on both sides. You live, you learn, you know what you want in the end.

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