Chivalry is Dead… or is it?

I race my friend to the movie theater door and open it for him. “Such a gentleman,” he jokes.

He likes to open doors for me. Carry heavy things so I don’t have to. Pull out my chair now and then. I appreciate these gestures and see them as his quiet way of saying “I’m looking out for you.” It’s nice. Refreshing.

I have two arguments for people who are super old-fashioned and gung-ho about chivalry though.

1. Don’t make me feel like I’m weak, and helpless, and in need a strong and hefty man to help me accomplish the most mediocre daily tasks.

2. There is nothing wrong with me being “chivalrous” towards guys.

My friend, who really is a gentleman, is obviously a chivalrous kind of guy. But he also understands that I like to carry heavy things, and open doors, and get my own chair most of the time – and he doesn’t have an inkling of a problem with that. He’s not saying “I’m looking out for you… because you’re incapable of doing all these things for yourself.” He’s saying “I’m looking out for you… because even though I’m totally aware of your capability to open doors, I’m going to do it anyway because it’s my way of letting you know that I care.”

That’s what makes all the difference.


12 thoughts on “Chivalry is Dead… or is it?

  1. Many women are stronger than I am. I never presume anyone needs me to do anything for them, but rather I was taught to treat ladies with respect just because they are ladies. I hope it’s not dead, otherwise my son will be all awkward like his father when he does those things I’ve taught him to do. ~Deon Mumple

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  2. I agree, it’s nice when someone holds open a door for you, pulls out a chair for you, etc. To me, it’s not chivalry as much as it is being polite, being kind. I too will hold open the door for someone, offer to help carry stuff for someone, and the like because that’s just what I think we should all do for one another, not because they’re weak or helpless, but simply because it’s good to practice the art of being kind to one another. There isn’t enough of that happening now a days.

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  3. Well Jo I (female) think that with doors anyway. The first one there should always open because it just works better. If the door swings back then the first person steps back and holds; if the door swings in then the first person walks forward and holds until the next person can reach to hold.

    For same sort of thing…depending on which side driver or passenger you approach the car, first person opens the door in front of them and holds for second person if it is passenger side but doesn’t close or at least asks are you ready? First person just climbs in on driver’s side and second person walks around and handles it themselves.

    So if holding is chivalry then all sexes can be chivalrous. Everyday Good Manners should be predicated on what is easiest for all parties in my world.

    And in my world I believe in asking if you need help…..or just don’t wantta do it….giggle…


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  4. I was always taught to be chivalrous and that opening doors for people was just plain common courtesy. One thing I can bring to the party is that as an American man living in the UK, the British women I have dated including the two I married are mostly impressed with the fact that I open doors and pull out chairs for them.

    Liked by 2 people

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